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first things first: 'tis my birthday today~! for the first time in weeks, i arrived in school with a *genuine* smile on my face . . . however, there are some things i am feeling a little down about . . . grr i failed summer sem need i say more? but what hurts the most is that because of me and my pride and my insatiable need to prove to myself something that doesn't really matter at all, we lost one of our own . . . i know i should be happy for her for pursuing what she wanted to do in the first place, but somehow, i can't shake the feeling that everything is my fault . . . (she'd probably scold me for beating myself up about this, and i'm scolding myself about it right now, but the regret is really overwhelming) 10 things i can't do anymore without that sick feeling of having my heart torn out of my chest, stomped to the ground, and stuffed to my mouth 1. say the signature amp (e.g. "ampfh") 2. pass by tropical hut, riverbanks 3. whistle 4. eat chix & mojos, ampcaf fruits, and corn bits 5. read blogs 6. make a blog entry 7. make a new blog template 8. sit in the usual knees-together-feet-apart way 9. study playing the guitar 10. listen / watch / read manga & anime officially missing you everyday, someone will inevitably mention her name, and check up if i made a step: a text message, a meetup, a movie, or any move (or whether i told her i had the biggest crush on her for 2 years running . . . i haven't done anything . . . and it pains me to think that i can't . . . musing of aeyan on Wednesday, June 23, 2004 [ | ] [freewall] †††
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ceffeine lvl: omg, no caffeine! mood: apprehensive movie: 2046 lss: hari ng sablay food: none yet im: maanski email: no emails lately text: cathee call: reena |
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y!m : chichiri_cd aim : chichiri cd msn : chichiri_cd@hotmail.com |